A good friend will help you plant your tulips. A great friend will help you plant a gun on the unarmed intruder you just shot.

Our cat is kind dove shellfish, and thinks the world is hers, She finds a comfy spot and then we pet turtle sheep purrs.

When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon.

Any cupcake consumed before 9AM is, technically, a muffin.

Whatever story you're telling, it will be more interesting if, at the end you add, "and then everything burst into flames.

It’s not technically gossip if you start your sentence with “I’m really concerned about __________________ ,” (fill in the name of the person you’re not gossiping about).

When a kid can understand that a word can mean two things, there's some real thinking going on. They have a vested interest in finding out what a word means, because it's the punch line to a joke.

It's perfectly okay if you don't understand every single one of them. For one thing, I make a lot of corny jokes, and you have to be 40 years old to get some of them.

If I have a talent for making some fourth-grader who hates school and reading to hate it a little less, then I have to do the most with what I've been issued.

In writing I found something I could do at least as well as my peers, if not better.

I love the semicolon; it's unnecessary, but graceful and sophisticated.

My heart is an empty refrigerator.

If I had the wings of a swan, over these stony hills I would fly. I would fly to the arms of my true love, and there I'd be happy to die.

A woman artist could be one of those intuitive geniuses [who] have kept their childlike spirit and have added to it breadth of vision and experience.

Nothing optional -- from homosexuality to adultery -- is ever made punishable unless those who do the prohibiting (and exact the fierce punishment) have a repressed desire to participate.

Love is qualified as an attribute of that force, power or influence known as God. Thus as man makes application of love in his daily experience, he finds God a personal God.

Six months ago I had never been to England, and, certainly, I had never sounded the depths of an English heart. I had known the shallows.

I do believe that at times God opens some doors and closes others, but our mistake is to confuse an open door for an easy door

I knew that life isn't always just about the Olympic gold medals and the sponsors.

A rising tide doesn't raise people who don't have a boat. We have to build the boat for them. We have to give them the basic infrastructure to rise with the tide.

The man filled with good qualities like Truth, Love, absence of jealousy, ego and hatred, can see God without searching for Him. He becomes a Jnani (a man of spiritual wisdom).