Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole.

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

My life needs editing.

People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago. Because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.

When Obama ran, he said, We can change the world! The world: can you change it back?!

There's a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy.

A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.

Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.

The fact is that you can't have a good relationship with a girl who hasn't settled things with her father.

One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.

One eye open. One still in a dream

(Emerson's) aphorisms tend to be chicken soup for the academic soul or gobledygook of a man who prefers the sounds of words to their meanings.

Grass is always greener on your side, just switch places with your neighbor.

Befriend simple thoughts for tangled ones may choke you

The biggest and loveliest miracle of today is you yourself!

There’s no such thing as ‘not enough time’ out here in the woods. I don’t even have a watch. Time is my own, categorised as nothing more than ‘morning, afternoon, evening and night’.

Art is creative for the sake of realization, not for amusement... for transfiguration, not for the sake of play.

When my husband kisses my ears. My ears turn me on like nothing else, they must be my most erogenous zone. Just having my ears kneaded is like a full body massage.

What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!

Although none of the rules for becoming more alive is valid, it is healthy to keep on formulating them.