Now I know what it is like to feel like a total idiot.

I know family comes first, but shouldn't that mean after breakfast?

I don't know if you have noticed this, but it is quite possible for two human beings to have a conversation in which one or both parties involved has absolutely no idea what they're talking about.

No big deal. We all have blood in us, the trick is keeping it inside.

Nothing in life is fair. Fair is a dirty word and I'll thank you not to use that language around me.

Life's only obligation, afterall, was to be interesting.

I often find myself in situations where it seems to me like everyone else has read the instruction book

But as I have noticed on more than one occaision, life itself is unfair, and there is no complaint department, so we might as well accept things the way they happen, clean up the mess, and move on.

And I was having too much fun to stop now.

you can’t use logic on human behavior.

Our universe is ruled by random whim, inhabited by people who laugh at logic.

I love to teach children science.

Because someday, in one way or another, you will be taken from me or I you.

The red tongues that went licking up my heap of wood were an altogether new and strange thing to Weena.

He who foresees calamities suffers them twice over.

And with just 4 minutes gone, the score is already 0-0.

You defended your Medicaid expansion by invoking God.

You play your character and it isn't right to step out of it. You have to stay in that character.

Political genius consists in identifying oneself with a principle.

Did-a-chick? Dum-a-chum? Dad-a-cham? Ded-a-chek?

The for-profit education industry has proven equal to the task.