Life's only obligation, afterall, was to be interesting.

I know family comes first, but shouldn't that mean after breakfast?

I don't know if you have noticed this, but it is quite possible for two human beings to have a conversation in which one or both parties involved has absolutely no idea what they're talking about.

No big deal. We all have blood in us, the trick is keeping it inside.

Nothing in life is fair. Fair is a dirty word and I'll thank you not to use that language around me.

I often find myself in situations where it seems to me like everyone else has read the instruction book

But as I have noticed on more than one occaision, life itself is unfair, and there is no complaint department, so we might as well accept things the way they happen, clean up the mess, and move on.

And I was having too much fun to stop now.

you can’t use logic on human behavior.

Our universe is ruled by random whim, inhabited by people who laugh at logic.

It's always me, isn't it? I'm not really a very nice person, but for some reason it's always me that they come to with their problems.

Do not allow any of God’s gift in your life to stagnate.

Parenthood is a walk in the park...A park full of scorpions that you can't leave without jumping through fiery hoop on a pogo stick.

I knew what I wanted to do, which was to become a recording artist, so I definitely felt like I had a calling. The performing part was the part that I wasn't sure about.

Everyone's nervous these days. Ronald McDonald has hired six bodyguards, and that's just to protect his buns.

Every day do something that frightens you.

We love the blather and boast, the charge and counter-charge of campaigning. Governing is a tougher deal.

Where conscious subjectivity is concerned, there is no distinction between the observation and the thing observed.

To be that man, you've got to beat the man. Woooo!

Sometimes a sign or a quote is simply interesting by itself and does not require anything beyond being framed on a page.