I often find myself in situations where it seems to me like everyone else has read the instruction book

I know family comes first, but shouldn't that mean after breakfast?

I don't know if you have noticed this, but it is quite possible for two human beings to have a conversation in which one or both parties involved has absolutely no idea what they're talking about.

No big deal. We all have blood in us, the trick is keeping it inside.

Nothing in life is fair. Fair is a dirty word and I'll thank you not to use that language around me.

Life's only obligation, afterall, was to be interesting.

But as I have noticed on more than one occaision, life itself is unfair, and there is no complaint department, so we might as well accept things the way they happen, clean up the mess, and move on.

And I was having too much fun to stop now.

you can’t use logic on human behavior.

Our universe is ruled by random whim, inhabited by people who laugh at logic.

It's always me, isn't it? I'm not really a very nice person, but for some reason it's always me that they come to with their problems.

You can’t build rich lives simply by reading sermons or following abstract rules. Example is the best teacher. Moral improvement occurs most reliably when the heart is warmed,

The letter is too belligerent. If I were you, I would state the facts as they were, without the pepper and salt. Abraham Lincoln

I'm asking God to bless you with something that unsettles you, disturbs you, and upsets you.

Apparently when I went to school, I had a Glasgow accent.

Our children are angry. The profanity is out in the street. It's on the buses and in the subway. Our children are trying to tell us something, and we are not listening.

A book tour is not a good opportunity to let your mind wander. You have to pay attention, remember salespeople's and interviewers' names, succinctly summarize your book in a 'selling' way, and so on.

The work my mum does, a lot of it is re-housing homeless people, that's a real job. I play make-believe and dressing up for a living!

Joe Louis is the hardest puncher that I've ever seen... He's a good man. Anyone who plans on beating him had better know what they're doing.

We pride ourselves on all being unique shows.

There are times when I think that the reading I have done in the past has had no effect except to cloud my mind and make me indecisive