No touching... Cashmere is highly sensitive to the oil in poor people's fingers.

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.

Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

The flat-brimmed cap is the modern day dunce cap.

They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'

You know my friends with what a brave carouse I made a second marriage in my house Divorced old barren reason from my bed And took the daughter of the vine to spouse.

Poetry always, always, always is a key piece of democracy.

Dreams have only the pigmentation of fact.

The last few months of George Bush's presidency brought Obama and nobody can be happy about that.

When a woman dislikes the man who is courting her, she parries him cleverly, like a willow in the wind.

Nothing burns in hell but ego" says Tauler. Does anything live but Buddha Nature, Christ Spirit?

I came into the world two months too soon, I was in such a hurry.

It's risky in a marriage for a man to come home too late, but it can sometimes pose an even greater risk if he comes home too early.

Everybody knows my life. I won a lot of tournaments and scored more than 1,000 goals, won three World Cups but I could not play in Olympic Games.