No matter how successful I got, my mother still thinks I'm a bad person, basically.

Do you think pandas know they're Chinese and they're taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?

The thing about crazy people; they don't know they are crazy, that's what make them crazy.

I'm not scared of dying, because I'm an atheist. I won't even know I'm dead. You know why? Because I'll be fùckin' dead.

Christians are like a thirteen year old kid who still believes in Santa.

Here's the thing about people who believe in god... They're idiots.

We have a drinking game in Australia, it's called drinking.

Nobody cares that you're smart and nobody cares that your kids don't have bruises.

God built the world, but he did not know it was round.

I definitely think the formula to making my character seem sweet is to let him act like a jerk, give him a redeeming moment, and have a sweet song playing over the background when it happens.

I've never been the type of guy that had a lot of friends or was part of the cool group.

Fiction was invented the day Jonah arrived home and told his wife that he was three days late because he had been swallowed by a whale..

I never killed anybody and I never developed an intense level of hatred for the enemy. Because my war ended before I ever put on a uniform

Really, it is unfair to say that English spelling is not an accurate rendering of speech. It is – it's only that it renders the speech of the 16th century.

I don't wait for inspiration. I get up and write every day.

Wait, do they even know I'm coming with you?" "No. But they like surprises. Almost always.

My business is to enjoy and have fun. And why not, if in the end everything will end, right?

Immortality... Is that a super power?

Amarillio, just turn to the left and 500 yards down

There is no perfect virtue-none that bears fruit- unless it is exercised by means of our neighbor.

I've got a song on every album, two songs as a matter of fact on every album without Auto-Tune, and that's the song that nobody talks about. It's weird.