Nixon was a conservative who’s way more liberal than his party can admit, and Obama’s a liberal who’s way more conservative than his party can admit.

If you don't want your tax dollars to help the poor, then stop saying that you want a country based on Christian values. Because you don't!

I've come to view Jesus much the way I view Elvis. I love the guy but the fan clubs really freak me out.

Only in America can you be Pro-Death Penalty, Pro-War, Pro-Unmanned Drone Bombs, Pro-Nuclear Weapons, Pro-Guns, Pro-Torture, Pro-Land Mines, AND still call yourself 'Pro-Life.'

The greatest threat to America is not foreign terrorists, its domestic morons.

Obama is not a brown-skinned anti-war socialist who gives away free healthcare. You're thinking of Jesus.

Loving the Second Amendment while opposing the NRA is every bit as natural as loving Jesus while opposing Westboro Baptist Church.

Jesus never called the poor 'lazy,' fought for tax cuts for the wealthiest Nazarenes or asked a leper for a copay.

People get God and religion confused. I think God is a bit too hip to join any of his unauthorized fan clubs.

My mother was an ex-nun, and my father was a Franciscan brother, so I grew up believing in Jesus the way anyone would believe in Mom's first husband.

Impeach President Reagan retroactively for agreeing with Obama on the assault weapons ban.

To fully communicate with people, you need to find tactics that would interest them

Our mind has evolved in such a way that new wants keep appearing in it relentlessly. But do not confuse them with needs. Needs are necessity, but wants are luxury.

Freedom doesn't mean the absence of all restrictions. It means possessing unshakable conviction in the face of any obstacle.

Ideas and thoughts and creativity is more of who I am than football.

It is a terrific thing to get a building built that has the qualities of greatness in it.

Bet on yourself! You never lose if you bet on yourself!

If, at some future point, my face collapses around my eyes, I'd probably do something about it. My eyes are where I live, and if people couldn't see them, no one would know me.

I wouldn't say that comedy brought me away from it.I think that my idea of faith was another obligation in my life.

If you observe awareness steadily, this awareness itself becomes the Guru that will reveal the Truth.

Kids today look at me like I'm Neil Young. Nirvana is the band their parents listen to.