My mother was an ex-nun, and my father was a Franciscan brother, so I grew up believing in Jesus the way anyone would believe in Mom's first husband.

If you don't want your tax dollars to help the poor, then stop saying that you want a country based on Christian values. Because you don't!

I've come to view Jesus much the way I view Elvis. I love the guy but the fan clubs really freak me out.

Only in America can you be Pro-Death Penalty, Pro-War, Pro-Unmanned Drone Bombs, Pro-Nuclear Weapons, Pro-Guns, Pro-Torture, Pro-Land Mines, AND still call yourself 'Pro-Life.'

The greatest threat to America is not foreign terrorists, its domestic morons.

Obama is not a brown-skinned anti-war socialist who gives away free healthcare. You're thinking of Jesus.

Loving the Second Amendment while opposing the NRA is every bit as natural as loving Jesus while opposing Westboro Baptist Church.

Jesus never called the poor 'lazy,' fought for tax cuts for the wealthiest Nazarenes or asked a leper for a copay.

People get God and religion confused. I think God is a bit too hip to join any of his unauthorized fan clubs.

Impeach President Reagan retroactively for agreeing with Obama on the assault weapons ban.

America doesn't have an abortion problem - it has an unwanted pregnancy problem, and an abortion symptom.

we attract what is happening in our lives

If sleep wasn't necessary, I would have used those 8 hours just to gaze at you.

She slept a dreamless sleep free of dragons for she had slain them once again. The Children of Ankh

The mystical impulse in men is somehow a desire to possess the universe. In women, it's a desire to be possessed.

The punters know that the horse named Morality rarely gets past the post, whereas the nag named Self-interest always runs a good race.

I might wear a dinner jacket once a year to our Oscar party - that's a big thing - but I don't go to parties. I'm social but I'm not a socialite person.

It's not like I just take the beat, rap on it and take it for what it is, I always have the producer send it to me, loop the track out, move some stuff around.

Behavior is a symptom. If you look at it like a problem, you're just going to make a judgment. If you look at like a symptom, you can do something about it.

If at first you don't succeed, have a cup of tea.

Jesus is the yes to every promise of God.