Jesus never called the poor 'lazy,' fought for tax cuts for the wealthiest Nazarenes or asked a leper for a copay.

If you don't want your tax dollars to help the poor, then stop saying that you want a country based on Christian values. Because you don't!

I've come to view Jesus much the way I view Elvis. I love the guy but the fan clubs really freak me out.

Only in America can you be Pro-Death Penalty, Pro-War, Pro-Unmanned Drone Bombs, Pro-Nuclear Weapons, Pro-Guns, Pro-Torture, Pro-Land Mines, AND still call yourself 'Pro-Life.'

The greatest threat to America is not foreign terrorists, its domestic morons.

Obama is not a brown-skinned anti-war socialist who gives away free healthcare. You're thinking of Jesus.

Loving the Second Amendment while opposing the NRA is every bit as natural as loving Jesus while opposing Westboro Baptist Church.

People get God and religion confused. I think God is a bit too hip to join any of his unauthorized fan clubs.

My mother was an ex-nun, and my father was a Franciscan brother, so I grew up believing in Jesus the way anyone would believe in Mom's first husband.

Impeach President Reagan retroactively for agreeing with Obama on the assault weapons ban.

America doesn't have an abortion problem - it has an unwanted pregnancy problem, and an abortion symptom.

We spent our lives making livings.

There’s nothing cruel about a vampire or a parasite, she said.

I am reminded every day of my life, if not by events, then by my wife, that I am not a perfect man.

"O' course I came to look arter you, my darlin'," replied Mr. Weller; for once permitting his passion to get the better of his veracity.

Do not sit next to my mother when she is watching one of her children compete because you will have fingernails down your back. She is a nervous wreck.

capital cannot be more beneficially employed, then in strengthening and aiding the productive powers of nature.

I wish I knew why I am so anguished.

Being true to oneself more often leads one toward success rather than away from it.

I think Anderson Silva is ahead of Chuck Liddell as far as that goes.

Survival is optional. No one has to change.