Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today -- for tomorrow's gonna be bad enough as it is.

Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes?

If inflation continues to soar, you're going to have to work like a dog just to live like one

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

My uncle was the town drunk - and we lived in Chicago.

If you build a better mousetrap, you will catch better mice.

When I go to a party, nobody says hello. But when I leave, everybody says goodbye.

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

Where I play, the greens always break toward the bar.

I have never been drunk but I've often been overserved.

I've never been drunk but often I've been overserved.

-You have no respect for excessive authority or obsolete traditions. You're dangerous and depraved, and you ought to be taken outside and shot!

The awareness of God’s greatness gives joy and inner peace.

If another Messiah was born he could hardly do so much good as the printing-press.

The truest mark of your success in life will be the quality of your marriage

Now that I know that I am no wiser than anyone else, does this wisdom make me wiser?

I'm quite neurotic, usually. But when it comes to work, I become extremely focused.

Three days in a city now and I'm quite flipped. There's too much noise. I just can't do with it.

People expect you to play your best, so I go through a routine to prepare myself so that I know I'm physically and mentally ready - prepared for the game.

Without a piano I don't know how to stand, don't know what to do with my hands.

Some people wonder all their lives if they've made a difference. The Marines don't have that problem.