College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes?

If inflation continues to soar, you're going to have to work like a dog just to live like one

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

My uncle was the town drunk - and we lived in Chicago.

If you build a better mousetrap, you will catch better mice.

When I go to a party, nobody says hello. But when I leave, everybody says goodbye.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today -- for tomorrow's gonna be bad enough as it is.

Where I play, the greens always break toward the bar.

I have never been drunk but I've often been overserved.

I've never been drunk but often I've been overserved.

I had learned years ago never to give original documents to anyone if I could help it.

Men were primitive in the eyes of angel beingsas men are primitive in the eyes of wilier races.

To pray is nothing more involved than to open the door giving Jesus access to our needs and permitting Him to exercise His own power in dealing with them.

Some women flirt more with what they say, and some with what they do.

So far as the economic condition of society and the general mode of living and thinking were concerned, I might claim to have lived in the time of the American Revolution.

He was a poet; and they are never exactly grown-up.

Religion and morality are critical to how students think about politics and form opinions on political issues.

What matters in art is not thinking but making.

I barely leave my cage, my house.

President George Washington used to wear a wig and make-up. I mean, c'mon, if he could do it, I can do it.