Joseph Heller, Catch-22 Quotes

All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.

Major Major never sees anyone in his office while he's in his office.

They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.

It doesn't make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who's dead.

Nately had a bad start. He came from a good family.

[Chief White Halfoat:] Racial prejudice is a terrible thing, Yossarian. It really is. It's a terrible thing to treat a decent, loyal Indian like a nig*er, kike, wop, or spic.

Why are they going to disappear him?'I don't know.'It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good grammar.

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.

-You have no respect for excessive authority or obsolete traditions. You're dangerous and depraved, and you ought to be taken outside and shot!

Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt...

But Yossarian knew he was right, because, as he explained to Clevinger, to the best of his knowledge he had never been wrong.

The spirit gone, man is garbage.

It doesn't matter whether they mean it or not. That's why they make little kids pledge allegiance even before they know what 'pledge' and 'allegiance' mean.

...You know, one good apple can spoil the rest, ” Colonel Korn concluded with conscious irony.

He woke up blinking with a slight pain in his head and opened his eyes upon a world boiling in chaos in which everything was in proper order.