Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

For beauty is nothing but the beginning of terrorwhich we are barely able to endure, and it amazes us so, because it serenely disdains to destroy us.Every angel is terrible.

Einstein...even failed physics once, but he'd never thought of giving up school to make a living.

I have just put this to see how much people can think, how much just follow what I say without thinking... (Just Simple Psychology)

Colour GLOWS, Mind FLOWSBird FLY. Love SPREADS, And we Celebrate Joy, Love & Smile.Have a Happy Bright Merry Christmas to Ü & All

How could an idiotic universe have produced creatures whose mere dreams are so much stronger, better, subtler than itself?

One of my all-time favorite workouts is boxing.

If your reaction to your partner's fear-or any other form of distress- is disdain or irritation, you do not want oneness or even friendship with your partner at that moment.

To understand via the heart is not to understand.

Wit and humor belong to genius alone.

The Church needs your faith, your idealism and your generosity, so that she can always be young in the Spirit.