Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.

Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

The flat-brimmed cap is the modern day dunce cap.

They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'

With you, intimacy colours my voice.even ‘hello’ sounds like ‘come here'.

Opportunity plays a big role in having success

If we ask anything according to his will he heareth us.

Thoughtful people of different political philosophies can disagree, but in a very agreeable manner.

Did we not aid the grisly Taliban to achieve and hold power? Yes indeed 'we' did. Well, does that not double or triple our responsibility to remove them from power?

The secret of following God's will, I discovered, usually is wrapped up in rejecting the good for God's best.

Fashion is the healthiest motivation for losing weight.

So long as the Zulu people are here, clearly I will still have a role to play in this country.

A pregnancy is a marvelous moment that I would love to repeat and repeat.

The media. It sounds like a convention of spiritualists.