Meditation is a gift confined to unknown philosophers and cows. Others don't begin to think till they begin to talk or write.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

A man's idea in a game of cards is war, cruel, devastating, and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary.

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

The past always looks better than it was; it's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.

What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

I'm A Speaker, Your A Listener.

You can involve yourself in electronics, computers, puzzles... there's a lot of creativity and brain working. There's a lot to model trains that people don't realize.

Have you ever dated a Goth chick for four or five months until you realized she was just an Orthodox Jew? They have the same costumes.

Seek what you know as the highest. It does not matter whether it is going to happen or not - living with a vision itself is a very elevating process.

I want to break the taboo against questioning this drive for maximum longevity.

Just because you fall in love with someone doesn't mean that your families are going to fall in love with each other.

I long for the days when athletes were revered. I want to see the romance return to sports, to see people enjoy the game purely for the game and the players.

I'd go and get really drunk somewhere ... in the street. Pass out somewhere and sleep in the gutter.

I'd learned enough about circuitry in high school electronics to know how to drive a TV and get it to draw - shapes of characters and things.

We must teach our children to resolve their conflicts with words, not weapons.