Many a man that couldn't direct ye to th' drug store on th' corner when he was thirty will get a respectful hearin' when age has further impaired his mind.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

A man's idea in a game of cards is war, cruel, devastating, and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary.

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

The past always looks better than it was; it's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.

What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

Dreaming isn't wasted time. The waste comes when you have these wonderful dreams, but you don't do anything to make them real.

She understood children, and knew that they were adults handicapped by a humiliating disguise and had their adult qualities within them.

I asked you to marry me – and you laughed. You thought I was joking. In fairness, I was still dressed as a Cavalier.

Being frustrated is disagreeable but the real disasters of life begin when you get what you want.

I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding; I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.

For the rest of my life?" His voice softens. "Do you want that, Ella May? Do you want me eternally, infinitely, forever, till death do us part?

The greatest justice in life is that your vision and looks tend to go simultaneously.

I'm cautious about the currency situation, oil pricing and the economies of some countries not performing as we are expecting.

When a man gives himself up to the government of a ruling passion,--or, in other words, when his HOBBY-HORSE grows head- strong,--farewell cool reason and fair discretion.

You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.