Man is the only animal that can be skinned more than once.

Be awfully nice to them going up, because you're gonna meet them all coming down.

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

Make someone happy, Make just one someone happy, And you will be happy, too.

Everybody wants to get into the act!

My nose isn't big. I just happen to have a very small head.

All of us have schnozzles... if not in our faces, then in our character, minds or habits. When we admit our schnozzles, instead of defending them, we begin to laugh, and the world laughs with us.

Everybody wants ta get inta da act!

Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.

Don't put no constrictions on da people. Leave 'em ta hell alone.

What did Napolean do for relaxation? He read a book. What did Lincoln do for relaxation? He read a book. What does Congress do for relaxation? They book a red.

When The Pyramid falls, the other cities will follow in short order. Nature's balance will be restored and Man will finally return to solitude.

The logic behind magic is that we create what we are imagining.

Kindness is the ability to love people more than they deserve.

If you don't make a stand for something you'll never make a stand for nothing..

Well, I can fake my way around some things, but I don't think I would be good at betting.

The idea of wilderness needs no defense. It only needs more defenders. Remaining silent about the destruction of nature is an endorsement of that destruction.

That's how a thing starts out real then ends up just an idea.

No one was ever great without some portion of divine inspiration.

I could never get a real good clear picture of what I could become.

How does Satan accuse us? By causing us to look at our sin rather than our Savior.