Life was certainly more entertaining when people were indulging their vices as opposed to going to meetings to indulge in a new vice: discussing their innermost thoughts in public.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

My favorite animal is steak.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

Whoever gains good understanding, keeps God's commandment.

We're all human no matter what.

It's the same old story. A man came like the beautiful wind, left like a destructive storm.

Everything you mean to me, I can't put into words, because when you're as perfect as you, no amount of words will do.

One English nobleman and statesman read and reread a particular work of literature because it was "the only book which allowed him to forget politics.

He had his choice, and he liked the worst.

I don't want to get close to people who have secrets that I don't know about.

When I get stressed out my de-stress default is - not cat videos - but I just watch his surrogates. They're so entertaining. It's like escapees from the Nordstrom cosmetics counter.

Since any reasonable person would choose a Mac over a PC, Apple's market share provides us with an accurate reading of the percentage of reasonable people in our society.

Anybody can achieve gains in quality by slowing down production. That is not what we are talking about.