Let's all help each other be a little bit better at being human beings.

A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can't live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And you don't even have to be topless. L'chaim.

We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.

I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.

You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU

There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

Consider the value of doing what you love and being paid for it! This is truly a golfer’s dream.

If you can be still enough and common enough, then it's really easy to be invisible.

REPUBLIC, n. A nation in which, the thing governing and the thing governed being the same, there is only a permitted authority to enforce an optional obedience.

It's a treat to be kissed, even goodbye.

To be calm is the highest achievement of the best of what you have.

I believe in Darwin and God together.

Underground electronic music is art - fundamentally it's based on contemporary art, culture, dance, and real music. If you look at EDM, how many of those cultural standpoints are the same?

I have only one confidant, and that is the silence of night.

Nuclear-armed Iran ought to be a major concern. And they're moving forward. We have got to roll that back.

The drug may not be toxic, but you may be self-toxic, and you may discover this in the drug experience.