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Steven Wright Quotes: Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said,
         

Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?


Steven Wright
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Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said,
         



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Other quotes of Steven Wright


The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese



You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?



To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.



If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?



I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.



A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.



If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?



The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?



If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?



Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.





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World Peace Day is envisioned to become a moment of global unity - it is up to each and every one of us to make this a reality.

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I know some good old gals in their 50s and 60s. All these women tell me, 'Forty to 50. Those are the hot times.' So far, you couldn't prove it by me. But hell, I'm only two years in.

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No-one knows what the soul is. But what we do know is, the soul is where God works compassion

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Rising genius always shoots forth its rays from among clouds and vapours, but these will gradually roll away and disappear, as it ascends to its steady and meridian lustre.

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This page presents the quote "Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?". Author of this quote is Steven Wright. .