It usually helps me write by reading - somehow the reading gear in your head turns the writing gear.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

The most powerful force ever known on this planet is human cooperation — a force for construction and destruction.

Sometimes, the waves grow hushed, but the sea is always there, touching, caressing, eating the earth...

The next time you try to seduce anyone, don't do it with talk, with words. Women know more about words than men ever will. And they know how little they can ever possibly mean.

Mortals are easily tempted to pinch the life out of their neighbor's buzzing glory, and think that such killing is no murder.

Faith is not a blind, irrational conviction. In order to believe, we must know what we believe, and the grounds on which our faith rests.

I think that discipline is so much of an important part of being a parent. Because it's very, very important to teach your children to take responsibility for their actions

We are uneasy with an affectionate man, for we are positive he wants something of us, particularly our love.

You don't need to beat yourself up in order to make God love you. Jesus already took your beating.

During the writer's strike I was walking a line and ran into Jack Black and he said,'We're doing Airborne 2!', and I asked, 'Are you kidding?', and he said, 'Yeah.' I like 'Airborne,' its very pure.

Red is a strong, happy, optimistic color, and I like having fun with it, you know? Like, when colors clash - I love that strangeness.