It's always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone's looking to me for guidance.

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

Destiny is the point where your circumstances and your actions coincide.

No one can take your joy away from you, unless you willingly give it to them through repeated negative interpretations of your experiences.

…victory that comes from the sacrifice on an innocent isn’t a victory. It’s the end of us.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him-her your plan

I have a rule on my team: when we talk to one another, we look each other right in the eye, because I think it's tough to lie to somebody. You give respect to somebody.

If when I get to heaven the Lord shall say to me, Spurgeon, I want you to preach for all eternity, I would reply, Lord, give me a Bible, that is all I need.

Don't take your health for granted. Don't take your body for granted. Do something today that communicates to your body that you desire to care for it. Tomorrow is not promised.

If you don't know foreign languages, you don't know anything about your own.

It was a terrible decision, and I confess I'd make it again.

You know, sometimes you have to remember the bad things so that you can learn from them.