If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Remember that the three words that kills learning are "I already know".

Being cool is being your own self, not doing something that someone else is telling you to do. Just be bold, be brave enough to be your true self. In short, be yourself, but always your better self.

No whining, no complaining about anyone. Everybody in your life has come to teach you lessons.

So much of 'normal, civilized' life is bull that you can't imagine... What frightens you, doesn't frighten me, what frightens me, you'd laugh at.

That no-hitter stuff was a long time ago; I don't think that has anything to do with it. I'm just going through a tough time.

I want to be as famous as midnight. As powerful as a gun. As loved as a pizza.

LIFE is WORTH LIVING when you find PURPOSE.

There are always generic terms like 'Americana', but there are no boundaries as to where it can go.

My life is a story about who God is and what He does in a human heart.

Like most parents in the US, they are trying, with a little help from UNICEF, to do the best they can to help their children reach their full potential.