If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

A little bit of suspicion is a dangerous thing; a drop from a pipette of poison into a bucket of otherwise clean water.

There are many things that I don't understand.

I can't stand callow amateurs who aren't sufficiently interested in the craft of advertising to assume the posture of students.

Humanity can be roughly divided into three sorts of people - those who find comfort in literature, those who find comfort in personal adornment, and those who find comfort in food.

Don't be concerned who is watching you. The triumphs and merits of others belong to them - as do yours to you. Make the most of what you've got.

Take action once a day to do something that ignites your life.

The man is as useless as nipples on a breastplate.

Gym is a center of capitalist breakdown, and everything is focused on the individual.

I think the differences between men and women, it's kind of hard to define what those are and the challenges, what they are. I think there are challenging things for everybody.

I don't know that the stereotypical idea of what it is to be a child of somebody hugely famous necessarily comes into play in my life.