If I had seen pictures of people eating each other on the wall, I would've told him I was into cannibalism.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.

I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.

A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time.

One of my girlfriends was getting married. This was becoming an annoying pattern.

I was in a tailspin of confusion I hadn't experienced since the first time I heard George W. Bush speak.

I don't like to overdose. Call me old-fashioned.

I have a question. Is it okay to drink while you're pregnant...if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?

My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister, whose identity I had stolen.

The definition of Brevity: That which people believe would be a virtue - in me!

I believe every child has the right to a mother and a father. Men and women are not the same. That's not to say they're not entitled to equal rights, but they are not the same.

but perhaps we should love what we cannot understand

Do reasons matter when there's nothing that can be done to change things.

I had a brother who died early on - he was 23 when I was 19. And, boy, I certainly didn't expect that. That was utterly shocking.

That’s what you do for family. Anything.

All history and art are against us, but we still expect happiness in love.

Myrnin:I could murder a cheeseburger right now Oliver:focus ya fool

I am one of those people who quite enjoys responsibility.

Hemingway was a prisoner of his style. No one can talk like the characters in Hemingway except the characters in Hemingway. His style in the wildest sense finally killed him.