My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister, whose identity I had stolen.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.

I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.

A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time.

One of my girlfriends was getting married. This was becoming an annoying pattern.

I was in a tailspin of confusion I hadn't experienced since the first time I heard George W. Bush speak.

If I had seen pictures of people eating each other on the wall, I would've told him I was into cannibalism.

I don't like to overdose. Call me old-fashioned.

I have a question. Is it okay to drink while you're pregnant...if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?

It’s a lack of clarity that creates chaos and frustration. Those emotions are poison to any living goal.

Things aren’t perfect. They are far, far from it, but they are getting there, and I wasn’t looking back. Not when there were so many good things in the future.

The pig was soon dissected and its blood filled the bucket in the bottom of which a patch of sky was reflected darkly. It had surrendered to the vortex of life and his breathing.

I think that Ring of Honor is a true alternative in the world of pro wrestling. Some of the best in-ring pure competition in the world you will find in Ring of Honor.

I had formed a black movement, so I would speak for the Trotskyist movement and then walk about a hundred yards to where the black movement was speaking.

These people are out of control. It's stunning.

Sandler's always good. Tom Hanks gave me some good advice.

The scientist rigorously defends his right to be ignorant of almost everything except his specialty.

To elevate abstract doctrines and dogmas over living, breathing, embodied experiences of God's love and grace, then, is going the wrong direction. It's taking flesh and turning it back into words.

I don't want to hurt you," he said. "Too late.