I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where’s the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had adifferent word for burger flipping

Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul.

I still have a very nonintellectual, nonjudgmental relationship with melody and the music as I hear it all in my head.

Could I make you believe something that wasn't true?' He studied her through his eyelashes. 'You could make me believe anything at all.

I do as much charity work as I can and that my family life will allow. I do believe charity begins at home and the more we focus on our families, the better they will be.

You cannot evolve unless you are willing to change.

From every ending comes a new beginning.

Don't you run around here trying to make friends with somebody who's depriving you of your rights. They're not your friends, no, they're your enemies. Treat them like that.

It's probably my favorite part of my whole showbiz experience, is Broadway. The community of Broadway. That feeling that happens every night.

If God is not at the center of your life, something else is.