I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's. The clerk said, "ten-four."

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

You can graciously achieve your dreams.

Faith is the gentleness of life.

I always, always got to be the last man standing.

I've always said that in politics, your enemies can't hurt you, but your friends will kill you.

Sometimes maybe it's good to have someone doing a sci-fi show who's not actually necessarily from that background. It also means that sometimes I fall into the most elementary of traps.

Dress suitably in short skirts and sitting boots, leave your jewels and gold wands in the bank, and buy a revolver.

One out of four people internationally believe if their country goes to war, The United States would be the opponent. As a veteran, I hang my head in shame over that.

Have a care lest the wrinkles in the face extend to the heart.

What I always hoped for out of the psychedelic voyaging was to bring back something. I always felt, and still feel, that that is the attitude with which you should go into these things.

There is an eternal conflict between the school-room and the bar-room. The school-room makes men, the bar-room destroys them.