I was fat! I was pustule-rich! I looked like a pink human grenade! When did I blossom into the irresistible little orchid that I am now? I don't know. Getting taller helps. It spreads out a bit.

People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works, because in its own way, it's quite theatrical.

You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...

Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.

I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.

Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.

I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

What can a man do for a woman while she live her life? You can only show her that you love her.

or dead is coincidental. Copyright 2010 by Karen Fraunfelder Cantwell Chapter

Because of Mozart, it's all over after the age of seven.

I'd ask myself, 'What do I think is really unjust?' That should be a starting point for how you engage with the world.

Your passion may be hard to spot, so keep an open mind and keep searching.

Apprehension, uncertainty, waiting, expectation, fear of surprise, do a patient more harm than any exertion.

Small leisure have the poor for grief.

People that keep stiff upper lips find that it's hard to smile.

I'm fairy godmothering a girl who sounds like something you put up in the rain.

All I have to do is play football now.