I was always making my friends laugh but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

After silence that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.

If you can't meditate in a boiler room, you can't meditate.

I take things from everywhere, and I still haven't figured out where I took [some things] from.

You have to be careful that in giving energy, you do not allow yourself to be excessively drained or used.

She always says she dislikes the abnormal, it is so obvious. She says the normal is so much more simply complicated and interesting.

There is no more harm in adultery than in rubbing one's hands together.

Having a chance to be someone other than yourself and to act out stuff that makes people look at you, like, wow, and that's why I love acting so much.

Mathematics is an interesting intellectual sport but it should not be allowed to stand in the way of obtaining sensible information about physical processes.

We don't care about going 2-0, 3-0, or 4-0. Our first main objective is to go 1-0. That's the only thing we care about. That's the main focus.

And when I think about that, I think that if nothing but being married will help a man, he's durn nigh hopeless.