I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

My melon soulCrushed by your Gallagher of apathy

Those patient Hufflepuffs are true and unafraid of toil.

I don't see that as being good for America - that the country pits parents against everybody else.

I am a Christian. So, I have a deep faith. So I draw from the Christian faith...So, I'm rooted in the Christian tradition. I believe that there are many paths to the same place.

My Sunday mornings are spent in a recovery meeting in Pacific Palisades.

My countrymen have commissioned a bust of the Republic. It will be placed on the fountain of my native town.

You can tell me to stop any time you want, but you won't.

I don't consider Americans bullies, but I do consider the American government bullying.

In the late 1960s, I ended up in Telluride, Colorado. It wasnt like the country club that it is now. It was very raw. Skiing was there, but snowboarders have now entirely overrun it.

Evidence and expertise have a well-known liberal bias.