I think I look great in green, and I'm going to start wearing more green.

When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.

Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.

I'm very loyal in a relationship. Any relationship. When I go out with my mom, I don't look at other moms and go, "I wonder what her macaroni and cheese tastes like."

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.

They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.

Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate.

Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way that the guy did before they started dating me. I know guys I wouldn't go out with.

I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over.

A broken soul is not the absence of beauty, but a cracked and torn soul reeks of the sweet incense it contains.

This is a work of fiction, and the people in it are fictitious. The ghosts are real.

There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving and that's your own self.

Suffice to say that the TG2, Germ pre and EQ, and TG1 are there anytime I track drums, TG2 for guitars and the LTD-1 is there whenever I do vocals!

A society that condemns homosexuality harms itself. (254)

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom.

Silence is the bluntest of blunt instruments.

There has never been a slave who did not choose to be a slave. Their choice may be between bondage and death, but the choice is always there.

When champions fail, they get back up and try again. They don't let failure discourage them.

That's what I love about the mockumentary style, is the added thing of people knowing they are on-camera, which changes your behavior. That's why we sometimes do what we call spy shots.