I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

They X-rayed my head and found nothing.

Beauty does not come with creams and lotions. God can give us beauty, but whether that beauty remains or chagnes is determined by our thoughts and deeds.

Marxism conceives of the new system of socialism as the necessary outcome of all previous history made possible and necessary only by that previous history.

You are extraordinary within your limits, but your limits are extraordinary!

He must have smiled at me, though I don't really know, but I don't like to think that I would love someone who hadn't first smiled at me.

When I record somebody else's song, I have to make it my own or it doesn't feel right. I'll say to myself, I wrote this and he doesn't know it!

So many times we're portrayed in ways that we don't want to be portrayed, in ways that make us seem so ridiculous.

If you've got love in your heart, whatever you do from that moment out is likely to be right. If you've got that one true note ringing inside you, then whatever you do is going to be OK.

The mind can be but full. It will be as much filled with a small disagreeable occurrence, having no other, as with a large one.