I never said nothing..." "I know you never! I could hear you not saying anything! You've got the loudest silences I ever did hear from anyone who wasn't dead!

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Fill your house with stacks of books, in all the crannies and all the nooks.

Eventually, you're gonna have to let someone in.

I began to write short pieces when I was living in a room too small to write a novel in.

I realised that God has placed Christians everywhere, to support each other, to support the needy in those areas, and that is the thing that I find is a great plus.

The good die young, because they see it's no use living if you have got to be good.

It’s hard to accept yourself as someone you don’t desire / As someone you don’t want to be.

Tell my father I wish to be his son.

Learning history is easy; learning its lessons seems almost impossibly difficult.

We can only truly be civilised people when we have regular and meaningful contact with the wild world

Cows' milk protein may be the single most significant chemical carcinogen to which humans are exposed.