I never panic when I get lost. I just change where it is I want to go.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Proper posture sends a positive message since 90% of all communication occures through body language and how you carry yourself.

Lies can be formed from truth, but truth cannot be formed from lies.

Pride costs nothing, yet it is especially precious when it can be “purchased” at someone else’s expense.

After the Beatles and Dylan, there's this assumption that you are a singer-songwriter, or that if someone else is writing your rhymes, you're a fake rapper.

Clearly when the liberties are left unrestricted they collide with one another.

I'd see movies, comedies, and I loved 'Animal House', I loved all the John Hughes stuff, but I never saw me and my friends totally represented.

The greatest honor history can bestow is the title of peacemaker.

It's always better to be real.

Pause awhile, And let my counsel sway you.