I love it in a movie when they throw a guy off a cliff. I love it even when it's not a movie. No, especially when it's not a movie.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

When hope is not pinned wriggling onto a shiny image or expectation, it sometimes floats forth and opens.

I grew up in a world before people had credit cards. There were no magic cards - it was all about budgeting.

We buy our own toilet paper even here in the White House.

They are a very tough opponent, and they took us the first game. So we want our revenge, and we are going to go right back after them hard. We are really looking forward to getting after them.

A problem becomes a problem only if you believe it to be so. And often others see you as you see yourself.

The perfect breakfast is fish with grits and scrambled eggs with onions. I'm getting hungry thinking about that.

... the only argument against vivisection that will be seen to have lasting power - that we do not improve human society by means that debase human character.

What will ye then that I shall do unto him whom ye call the King of the Jews?

The Word of God is like a lamp to guide us.

Wisdom is not the purchase of a day