I kinda expected to turn the bottle and see a recipe. "So that's how you make ice cubes. Apparently you just freeze this stuff. Oh, but you need a tray. That's how they trick you into it."

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

In our external world we create and attract with our beliefs, thoughts, emotions and perceptions.

The earlier, the more fun. Why put it off? It’s the atomic age!

I don't see why we ever think of what others think of what we do – no matter who they are. Isn't it enough just to express yourself?

There is nothing so carking as the pangs of unsatisfied curiosity.

There's a lot of ugly things in this world, son. I wish I could keep 'em all away from you. That's never possible.

What are the proper proportions of a maxim? A minimum of sound to a maximum of sense.

Wrinkled, wrinkled little star... hope they never see the scars.

Manicheanism is like a vacuum, it is an either or situation that curtails or destroys the development of liberatory thought.

Those who love each other shall become invincible.

Whence has come thy lasting power.