I heart abortion. Where's the shirt for that, urban outfitters?! And it won't be a normal heart. It'll be a dead infant heart. Y'know what the back will say? Problem Solved.

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.

Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

The flat-brimmed cap is the modern day dunce cap.

They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'

True wealth is in the heart.

I get to work with great photographers, wear lovely clothes, be part of the creative process.

Composing is a slowed-down improvisation; often one cannot write fast enough to keep up with the stream of ideas.

Could he actually be my muirn beatha dan?

Don't confuse comfort with happiness.

Mere color, unspoiled by meaning, and unallied with definite form, can speak to the soul in a thousand different ways.

Every single person in jail for a violent crime had a nightmare childhood.

A wise ruler takes advice, but should never be seen to take it. Let them think you know more than you do. It will not harm them, and it will help you.

Life is not a matter of holding good cards

Initiating is really and truly difficult, and that's what leaders do. They see something others are ignoring and they jump on it.