I have no idea what's going to happen with America in the future.

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

My grandfather always said, Don't watch your money, watch your health. So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . .

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

Blacks can get into medical school with a lower grade ... If that's true, a Jew should be able to play basketball with a lower net.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

On the murder of New York deli owner Abe Lebewohl: It's almost like wiping out Carnegie Hall. A sandwich to a Jew is just as important as a country to a Gentile.

My father was a very successful businessman, but he was ruined in the stock market crash. A big stockbroker jumped out the window and fell on his pushcart.

America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress.

While we want to enjoy what we don’t have, don’t forget to enjoy the incredible beauty of what we do have.

Acts that proceed from your calm center are always more effective than acts that proceed from fear, guilt, or anger.

An international team of psychiatrists has flown to Redmond, WA in an attempt to discover exactly what makes Bill Gates tick. And, more especially, what makes him go cuckoo every half hour.

Being stupid is not as frustrating as being brilliant for 5 seconds and then average for the rest of your life

Time is all we have. One lifetime under this name to produce a body of work that says, This is how I saw the world. Your work is worthy of whatever time it takes.

Man is his own star, and the soul that can Render an honest and a perfect man, Commands all light.

In other words, more violent tornadoes would, if anything, be a sign of 'global cooling', not 'global warming'.

There are as many pillows of illusion as flakes in a snow-storm. We wake from one dream into another dream.

A man's best things are nearest him, Lie close about his feet.

I felt like I was literally losing myself as being the joyful, spiritual, passionate, exciting woman that I naturally had been.