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Steven Wright Quotes: I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.
         

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.


Steven Wright
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I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.
         



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"Steven Wright Quotes." Quoteslyfe.com, 2024. Thu. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.quoteslyfe.com/quote/I-have-an-answering-machine-in-my-323113>.





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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese



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You can't have everything. Where would you put it?



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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.



If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?



I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.



A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.



If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?



The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?



If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?



Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.





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But I’d rather look back and regret something I did when I was young and crazy, than look back and regret something I never had the courage to do, and realize it’s too late.

But I’d rather look back and regret something I did when I was young and crazy, than look back and regret something I never had the courage to do, and realize it’s too late.



Letter home from college boy: "There are 370 boys here - I wish there were 369."

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Quote Description


This page presents the quote "I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.". Author of this quote is Steven Wright. This quote is about machine, home, message,.