I felt bad when George Bush was booed. But only briefly. My sympathy for that man has a half-life of about four seconds.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.

I don't feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. And those are always an elite, microscopic portion of the population. But oh, how they try.

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.

You have the power within your reach to create what you desire.

One proof of the inspiration of the Bible is that it has withstood so much poor preaching.

Most of our parents wanted the best for us, I knew, but we also wanted the best for them.

History is a gallery of pictures in which there are few originals and many copies.

If all were perfect Christians, individuals would do their duty; the people would be obedient to the laws, the magistrates incorrupt, and there would be neither vanity nor luxury in such a state.

Our tongues, fluent in lover's kiss.

There's more violence in one football game than there is in an entire hockey season, and nobody ever talks about that.

People do not come into therapy to change their past but their future.

Stick to the basics, hold on to your family and friends - they will never go out of fashion.

I think all foreigners should stop interfering in the internal affairs of Iraq. Those who want to come and help are welcome. Those who come to interfere and destroy are not.