I don't think there's hardly a comic out there that does clean material all the way around. There's a couple of guys that are clean, but I'm not one of them.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

Learn how to set goals. That's the key to everything. That includes designing your own success. You define what the goal is, it's not somebody else's goal, it's yours.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

Creativity is a gift of the Creator to His creation

For wisdom: read your Bible repeatedly and apply its truths often.

The universe was full of wonders. Some of them would drive you insane if you thought about them too long.

There comes a point when you have to realize that the sum of all your blood, sweat, and tears will ultimately amount to zero.

Away with all these gods and godlings

If you want something done right get someone else to do it.

Fear is feeling, is not what do you think. That feeling keeps your body in every way to 100% and makes you react like a wild animal. It gives you that extra than you have in a normal

It is our duty to save the world. That is our mission, insofar as they will listen unto us and receive our testimony.

He followed in his father's footsteps, but his gait was somewhat erratic.

The avantgarde are people who don't exactly know where they want to go, but are the first to get there.