I don't think anyone ever gets over the surprise of how differently one audience's reaction is from another.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.

I don't feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. And those are always an elite, microscopic portion of the population. But oh, how they try.

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.

If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.

The real acts of a real devil you know have been made acceptable by the fictitious actions of a nonexistent devil that you do not know.

One must lose one's life in order to save it.

Does Michael Cole deserve to take Jim Ross' place as a commentator?

When someone compliments you, listen, but don't believe it. Praise or blame are immaterial. You know what you are.

A big 'thank you' to George Demetrion for helping readers see that the center does hold. A wise and winsome work.

The ... challenge of Christmas is this: justice is what happens when all receive a fair share of God's world and only such distributive justice can establish peace on earth.

True love can't be bought.

In youth one has tears without grief; in age, griefs without tears

Any particle in this universe can change in relation to any other particle; but take the whole universe as one.