I do some of my best reading while seated in the bathroom.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

You might as well make yourself fly as to make yourself love.

Take care of your back ahead of anyone, dear friends.commendation and stabbing, Both get on this only.

I must not expect everyone to act or think like I do as God has created each of us differently.

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.

Nobody gets justice. People only get good luck or bad luck.

It's more like it is now than it ever has been.

Civilization in certain respects is as inadequate as it was a thousand years ago.

I didn't expect to win the Oscar. You grow up watching the Oscars on TV and you think it happens to fancy people. It was really surreal

My only fear of death is reincarnation