I did movie star impressions as a kid in high school. Somehow they just got out of hand.

Sometimes I wonder how I got into comedy at all.

I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much

I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot.

Maxwell is serious, dedicated, awkward, forgetful, pompous to a certain degree, sentimental.

I am a quick study - I can memorize a script in an hour - but I can't remember a name three seconds. I've even forgotten my wife's name on occasion.

It was a special show that became a cult classic of sorts, and I made a lot of money for it.

I like getting married, but I don't like being married.

I remember that the priest finally said to me, 'You wouldn't like to have a religion that makes things easy for you.' Now I know that both faith and intellect are components of religious belief.

All the diversity, all the charm, and all the beauty of life are made up of light and shade.

Be someone’s security blanket when theirs is in the wash.

One positive thought will shift the entire world under your feet.

You can't lead when you have not been loaded with the skills of immagination.

Her giggles were light in my darkness.

I stopped making movies because I don't like taking my clothes off. Maybe it's realism, but in my opinion, it's utter filth.

I won’t bet $100 against house odds between now and the grave.

Nursing is an art: and if it is to be made an art, it requires an exclusive devotion as hard a preparation as any painter's or sculptor's work.

The spiritual battle, the loss of victory, is always in the thought-world.

An [officer] is still a human being. When that fear kicks in, you never know what can happen.