I developed several comedy phone calls.

My whole act is confession.

As much experience, education and awareness as one can attain is important for a comedian.

The most memorable performance was my appearance in concert in Carnegie Hall. The first standup to do so.

The Steve Allen Sunday night show had the right to two options after my first performance.

Unquestionably, standup comedy is and has always been an art form.

We teach reading, writing and math by [having students do] them. But we teach democracy by lecture.

A hotel is a place that keeps the manufacturers of 25-watt bulbs in business.

I am careful with my material and presentation.

The old problems - love, money, security, status, health, etc. - are still here to plague us or please us.

I was an actor before becoming a comedian.

The heart, once broken, stayed broken.

People only tell lies when the truth is disagreeable to them, or frightens them, or to cover sin.

When teenagers aren’t turning like weathervanes in a high wind, they’re as stiff as Puritans.

You are not your past, not your habits, not your compulsions. When you get to know who you are, anything becomes possible.

If anything goes wrong, the customer doesn't care whose fault it is. He's the one who's going to suffer anyway.

You think Jesus ever tried to talk God out of some of that stuff? 'Instead of that whole crucifixion, how about we do a big fundraiser!'

No single theory ever agrees with all the facts in its domain

I love reading about history. Sometimes, I feel I was born in the wrong era. There was more creativity in the air when people were still discovering new worlds.

Goodness Is oneness-love In perfect action.

Poetry fettered fetters the human race.