My whole act is confession.

As much experience, education and awareness as one can attain is important for a comedian.

The most memorable performance was my appearance in concert in Carnegie Hall. The first standup to do so.

The Steve Allen Sunday night show had the right to two options after my first performance.

Unquestionably, standup comedy is and has always been an art form.

We teach reading, writing and math by [having students do] them. But we teach democracy by lecture.

A hotel is a place that keeps the manufacturers of 25-watt bulbs in business.

I am careful with my material and presentation.

The old problems - love, money, security, status, health, etc. - are still here to plague us or please us.

I was an actor before becoming a comedian.

I developed several comedy phone calls.

A cannonball travels only two thousand miles an hour

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view.

Human life is fiction's only theme.

The last kiss is given to the void.

A good surgeon doesn't just concentrate on technical ability, but also on the appropriateness of what you're doing.

He gave you to me," she said, so low I could hardly hear her. "Now I have to give you back to him, Mama.

Why is summer mist romantic and autumn mist just sad?

It is more important that we should remember God than that we should breathe: indeed, if one may say so, we should do nothing else besides.

When I'm really stressed emotionally, I say to myself that there's only so much I can do to change things. Life happens on life's terms. Then, I go for a run.

I think that for me personally, a lot of my choices have been to do with my own issues of not feeling safe as a child and feeling a sense of stability.