We teach reading, writing and math by [having students do] them. But we teach democracy by lecture.

My whole act is confession.

As much experience, education and awareness as one can attain is important for a comedian.

The most memorable performance was my appearance in concert in Carnegie Hall. The first standup to do so.

The Steve Allen Sunday night show had the right to two options after my first performance.

Unquestionably, standup comedy is and has always been an art form.

A hotel is a place that keeps the manufacturers of 25-watt bulbs in business.

I am careful with my material and presentation.

The old problems - love, money, security, status, health, etc. - are still here to plague us or please us.

I was an actor before becoming a comedian.

I developed several comedy phone calls.

To Be One With The One Is Not For Everyone

When history looks back, it will prove what I'll die knowing.

Global commerce is driven by a single conviction: the inalienable right to earn profit, regardless of any human cost.

If thou desire to be held wise, be so wise as to hold thy tongue.

How do you create chemistry? If only I knew that! Some people say it's a natural thing that you have with someone, and maybe it is to do with that, but I think you can work on it.

If one must explain a magic trick, one should do so after the show is over.

Who can tell where happiness may come, or where, though an expected guest, it may never show its face?

It takes a great deal of experience to become natural.

I'm an Irish-American, and I grew up in an Irish-American neighborhood.

The maxim, "Nothing prevails but perfection," may be spelled PARALYSIS.