Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets.

A fantastically huge, roiling cloud, glowing bluish gray, swaggered over the city. It was more than three miles tall. Below it Hiroshima was boiling.

Don't believe everything you read or hear, remember a large part of our world is made up of fiction!!

Sharing is just like spending, we give or spend for others while hoping them to be happy and better. At this way we can accept and find in our hearts the happiness that we want.

I actually think I play better now than Ive ever played.

For better or worse, you must play your own little instrument in the orchestra of life.

Soldiers don't complain...I am not going to do it; I will pretend this is part of a war.

National League umpires wear inside chest protesters.

Spinning yarns is a protection against the nuttiness... the greed, the hate all around us.

The God who hates trees is the founding father of patriarchy.

Far more quickly than reason and logic, irony can penetrate rage and puncture self-pity.